Win-Win is not a technique; it’s a total philosophy of human interaction. In fact, it is one of six paradigms of interaction. The alternative paradigms are win-losing, lose-win, lose-lose, win.
Win-win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win-win means that agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial, mutually satisfying. With a win-win solution, all parties feel good about the decision and feel committed to the action plan. Win-win sees life as a cooperative, not a competitive arena. Most people tend to think in terms of dichotomies: strong or weak, hardball or softball, win or lose. But that kind of thinking is fundamentally flawed. It’s based on power and position rather than on principle. Win-win is based on the paradigm that there is plenty for everybody, that one person’s success is not achieved at the expense or exclusion of the success of others.
Win-win is a belief in the Third Alternative. It’s not your way or my way; it’s a better way, a higher way.
One alternative to win-win is win-lose, the paradigm of the race to Bermuda. It says ‘If I win you lose.
In leadership style, win-lose is the authoritarian approach: “I get my way; you don’t get yours.” Win-lose people are prone to use position, power, credentials, possessions, or personality to get their way.
Certainly, there is a place for win-lose thinking in truly competitive and low-trust situations. But most of life is not a competition. We don’t have to live each day competing with our spouse, our children, our co-workers, our neighbors, our friends. “who’s winning in your marriage?” is a ridiculous question. If both people aren’t winning, both are losing.
Most of life is interdependent, not an independent, reality. Most results you want to depend on cooperation between you and others. And the win-lose mentality is dysfunctional to that cooperation.
Lose-win is worse than win-lose because it has no standards – no demands, no expectations, no vision. People who think lose-win are usually quick to please or appease. They seek strength from popularity or acceptance. They have little courage to express their own feelings and convictions and are easily intimidated by the ego strength of others.
Win-lose people love lose-win people because they can feed on them. They love their weaknesses – they take advantage of them. Such weaknesses complement their strengths. But the problem is that lose-win people bury a lot of feelings.
Many executives, managers, and parents swing back and forth, as if on a pendulum, from win-lose inconsideration to lose-win indulgence. When they can’t stand confusion and lack of structure, direction, expectation, and discipline any longer, they swing back to win-lose – until guilt undermines their resolve and drives them back to lose-win – until anger and frustration drive them back to win-lose again.
When two win-lose people get together – that is, when two determined, stubborn, ego-invested individuals interact – the result will be lose-lose.
Lose-lose is also the philosophy of the highly dependent person without inner direction who is miserable and thinks everyone else should be, too. “If nobody ever wins, perhaps being a loser isn’t so bad.
Another common alternative is simple to think win. People with the winning mentality don’t necessarily want someone else to lose. That’s irrelevant. What matters is that they get what they want.
When there is no sense of contest or competition, a win is probably the most common approach in everyday negotiation. A person with the winning mentality thinks in terms of securing his own ends – and leaving it to others to secure theirs.
Blog Writer Think:- The Best Situation is the Win-win because you and your customer are winning in the same Situation
This Article is Taken from The 7Habits of Highly Effective People
Written by Arshad. A