How to say “No” …?
All this figuring and calculating and deciding won’t do you a bit of good is you aren’t able to act on your decisions.
The moment is at hand. The out-going chair (desperate to find a replacement) has asked you to shoulder the burden. What do you say?
1. Beware the automatic “yes.” You may have gotten into your time-crunch because you have a very hard time saying “no.” But you’ve learned by bitter experience that it’s much harder to get out of something later than to turn it down now. And, you’re trying to face up to your inner demons.
2. Buy time. Unless you’re already certain of your response one way or the other, ask for time to think about it. This is both a reasonable and a truthful response. You really do want and need time to think about it (if not to pull out various lists and rating scales). Realize, however, that you will have to respond eventually, and by delaying your response, you may have created a situation in which others believe that you have tacitly agreed. Your delay also may make it very difficult ultimately to decline because no time is left to recruit a replacement.
3. If the answers are “no,” say “no.” Say it gracefully, but say it.
“I’m really flattered that you’d think of me. Thank you so much. But I’m going to have to turn the opportunity down.”
And then shut up!
4. Deflect the conversation. Decline the offer and suggest an alternative.
“Thank you for thinking of me, but I’m going to have to decline. I bet Bill would be perfect foe the job, don’t you?’’
This technique works best, obviously, if Bill is not part of the conversation and cannot object. It immediately turns the attention from you to another victim. Even if poor Bill is elsewhere at the conversation at the moment, however, he will undoubtedly learn and may even resent you for so graciously volunteering his services. So, this may save you time but cost you an ally in the long run.
5. You don’t have to give a reason. This may come as a shock. We’re reasonable people. We like to think we’re motivated by reason, and we want others to understand and agree with our rationale for our decisions. We want people to continue to think well of us. So, we share our reasons. And when we do, we invite others to participate in a discussion.
This Article is Take from How to say “No.” …?
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Written by Arshad. A